


and i'm filled with the sweetest devotion

by acidulication, exolliarmus



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Quidditch shenanigans, background hoseok amber and kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acidulication/pseuds/acidulication, https://archiveofourown.org/users/exolliarmus/pseuds/exolliarmus
Summary: Minseon did not sign up for Hogwarts only to get hated on by her quidditch captain, but apparently that’s what she got.





	and i'm filled with the sweetest devotion

**Author's Note:**

> Title: and i’m filled with the sweetest devotion  
> Pairing: fem!xiuhan, side krisho, baeksoo if you squint  
> Summary: Minseon did not sign up for Hogwarts only to get hated on by her quidditch captain, but apparently that’s what she got.  
> Rating: T for language  
> Word Count: 16.794  
> Author's Note: Title taken from « It is you I have loved » by Diana Glover. Yes, this is a Shrek sountrack.  
> I’d like to thanks G. for betaing me last minute, I’m so sorry thank you so much i will build u a temple and raise my children to worship you. Thanks to the softest soft S for letting me scream a lot and talk about this fic a lot i love u i wouldn’t have done it without u ;u ;
> 
> Finally to the prompter, I’m not sure it is what you expected but I hope you will like it anyway !! It is a product of my heart and soul and also a lot of tears because writing is hard and this is my first long-ish fic and i freaked out a lot through the process.

☼  
  
  
The first thing Minseon noticed when she got out of the changing room, wearing her quidditch gear in the color of Gryffindor, was the piercing glare thrown her way by her captain and fellow sixth year student, Lu Hua. She shivered, confused and a little bit upset at the cold attitude the other girl suddenly showed toward her. The second thing she noticed was Jungah, her sister, who was only younger by one year - had been sorted in Hufflepuff at the entrance ceremony a few days ago - sat in the bleachers with one of her friends. She sighed, only to chuckle when she realised that Jungah came here to show her support.  
  
They had moved from Korea to Great Britain a few weeks ago. There was reluctance from the sisters since it meant that they had to leave behind their life - their  _friends_  - back in Korea’s Wizardry School. Minseon, however, was relieved that most of the people that she was close to were familiar with phones. Except her best friend. They had already written each other letters, but Jongdae, a pure blood, who was member of a kind of stuck up wizard family, still needed education on muggles.  
  
  
If there was one thing that Minseon was excited about upon moving - it was quidditch. She had been part of the team back in her old school. However, it wasn’t a popular pastime amongst the students. But Minseon? She loved it,  _and_  was pretty good at it. Which meant that going to Hogwarts meant trying - and in her current case,  _succeeding_ \- to get into her House’s team. And she was lucky, as far as Baekhyun - a cute fifth year Gryffindor student who had showed her around the first few days - had told her that since their usual seeker had graduated the year prior, the position was left empty. Spot that Minseon managed to snatch with flying colors.  
  
  
“Get on the field,” an order, annoyance barely hidden.  
  
  
Minseon watched with a cocked brow as Hua tied her pink dyed hair into a tight bun, which prevented loose strands from getting in her face whilst in the air. However, it wasn’t Hua’s brightly colored hair that caused a light frown to grace Minseon’s face, but it was the way she had  _commanded_  Minseon to get her ass in the air. She did so anyway, partly because she did not want to anger Hua further, for whatever reason, but mostly because  _well_  it was practice. Quidditch was played in the air. The brunette took off.  
  
She couldn’t recall one reason for Hua to be mad at her - but maybe it was just an impression? Maybe she had misinterpreted her tone? It was a possibility. It was just  _weird_  coming from Hua. From what Minseon had observed, she had seemed really friendly and smiled a lot more when they first met at try-outs.  
  
  
The brunette flashed a smile to Jungah, who waved excitedly when she flew closer to the bleachers, appreciating the rather chilly wind on her face, lids closed-  
  
“Stop daydreaming,” a voice pierced through the air, full of reproach as it reached Minseon’s ears. “We’re gonna start, come here,  _newbie_.”  
  
Her cheeks flushed as she felt kind of embarrassed. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed two of her team members, Amber and Chanyeol, exchanging confused glances. So  _maybe_  this wasn’t Hua’s normal attitude. Except Minseon was sure it was not a general mood, especially since throughout the whole practice, Hua had been mellow and nice to the whole team -  _except_  Minseon. But the brunette decided to ignore it and played to the best of her abilities. If her captain had a problem with her, she needed to fucking confront her about it.  
  
As soon as her feet touched the ground when the practice ended, Minseon spotted Jungah at the entrance. She was by the lockers, her friend disappearing in the hallway, waiting for her. The younger girl was  _vibrating_. Minseon had no idea why she was so excited, but it was cute, as well as reassuring to have a familiar face nearby when your captain had spent two hours yelling at you -  _don’t get in our way Minseon, you need to be faster to catch the snitch. Work harder to earn your place in the team,_  and more. Minseok smiled when Jungah flopped onto her gracefully; years of ballet had changed the way she moved and she wrapped her arms around her sister’s neck.  
  
“You did great !!!” Minseon snorted, but felt proud in a strange way.  
  
“It was practice. There wasn’t much to see, so don’t understand why you came,” she answered, shrugging. Jungah detached herself from the elder girl. Her smile was warm and illuminated the room.  
  
“I just wanted to. We weren’t as close in Korea. Let me enjoy moments with my sister-”  
  
“ _Well_ , we weren’t exactly  _together_  today, but sure-” Minseon chuckled when Jungah lightly punched her shoulder repetitively. She stopped and thought for a second; her grin pulled into a frown.  
  
“Is it me or your captain- Hua was it? Wasn’t she harsh to you today? I didn’t imagine her to be that cold.”  
  
Minseon sighed, shrugging. “Yeah, she was. I was kinda pissed but,” she rolled her eyes, jerking her shoulders up to show she had no idea what it was all about. “We’ll see, I guess,” she said, and lowered her voice so that their conversation would be kept between the two of them and away from eavesdroppers. “Okay, I’m all sweaty. You can go now. I’m a big girl in case you didn’t know.”  
  
Minseon shooed Jungah playfully as she walked past her sister, who answered with a cute  _okay, bye, I’m going,_  as she walked toward her friend who had been waiting in the hallway.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Minseon!”  
  
Minseon looked up. She had just changed, a little less sweaty and in now in her gryffindor uniform. She noticed Amber sitting against a wall, waving at her. The petite girl was the same grade as her, and they shared most classes. As far as she knew, the chaser was pretty cool, and had a habit for accidentally making potions explode in classes. Jinki was sitting with her. He was also in their grade and was another chaser. He was sweet and it seemed that he was his friend’s chaperone (from what Baekhyun told her). Amber was well known for her random fits of quirkiness and pranks.  
  
“We’re waiting for Chanyeol and Hoseok. Do want to go back to dorms with us?”  
  
“Oh- Um, sure?” The brunette flushed a bit. “What about-” her gaze drifted to Hua and Kris, who she knew were still changing inside the lockers. The latter was probably the tallest girl she had ever met - as well as being one of the tallest girls in the whole school - but she was cool. Amber shrugged.  
  
“Nah, they gotta head out to get to the library for something, i didn’t quite catch it,” she waved her hand away,  _i don’t really care about this shit,_  “but anyway, was that your sister?”  
  
Minseon nodded slowly, suspicious. Did Amber just  _waggle_  her eyebrows- “Yeah … ?” The other girl whistled, Jinki rolled his eyes, clearly knowing where this was going.  
  
“Don’t worry I’m not gonna stalk her or something, but like  _damn_  your parents did something great with their genetics. I mean, look at  _you_.”  
  
She threw her hands out in Minseon’s general direction, and the Minseon flushed. She wasn’t used to such open compliments. Jinki rolled his eyes. He slapped the back of Amber’s head with a deep, used-to-her-shit kind of sigh. “Sorry, she’s very enthusiastic about girls.”  
  
“God I  _love_  girls you have no idea.” Minseon snorted, smiling warmly.  
  
“I mean, relatable-”  
  
Jinki laughed out loud, clear and it resonated into the room. They continued to talk, not minding anything or anyone. But Minseon couldn’t help but notice the dark glare Hua sent  _her_  on her way out, Kris walking beside her. The taller girl seemed to be apologetic, clearly confused by Hua’s attitude, but did not say anything.  
  
  
Minseon didn’t think it was a Today™ thing. Hua seemed to be set on being an angry idiot, and she was having none of it.  
  
  
☼  
  
  
As expected, Hua continued to be cold; attitude unchanging. She ignored Minseon when they passed each other in the hallway. She didn’t even talk to her when they hung out with the same people; the quidditch team were a very lively bunch and Minseon ended up sticking to them, but it was not necessarily out of her own will. Chanyeol had big, grabby hands, long arms and was quick to pull her into the group. His smile was bright she couldn’t find it in herself to say no to him and it wasn’t that she minded, either.  
  
It wasn’t that she didn’t like them, because she did. She and Amber would fake swoon over girls as Jinki sighed exasperatedly in the background with Hoseok laughing at his misery. Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who turned out to be really close to the group as well would often join in. They talked about how pretty Jungkook from Slytherin was and speculated which students had had their heart broken because of him. Kris turned out to be just as fun as the others. She was however, closed off. Minseok and Kris studied together, the latter had a lot of problems and Minseon helped her.  
  
Even though Hua was in their grade, she still continued to avoid Minseon. Kris didn’t seem phased when a girl with pink hair, who could only be identifiable as Hua, walked by their table in the library to go sit down with another girl - Junhee, a Ravenclaw - without even sparing them a glance.  
  
“Why does she  _hate_  me so much?” Minseon huffed, a wild strand of brown hair flying under her breath.  
  
“Don’t mind her, Minseon. She’s just being petty.” Kris leaned back into her chair.  
  
“Petty? What for? I haven’t done anything to make her act like this!” Minseon failed to realise that she had raised her voice. She glanced over to where Hua and Junhee were sitting and it didn’t seem like they had heard her. Minseon sighed and recomposed herself. Kris tried not to laugh at the pout on her lips. “I can’t not mind,” Minseok sighed, “She’s my captain. We’re supposed to be a team and work together… How can that happen when she’s acting like this?”  
  
She glanced over at Hua once more. Hua leaned over her book to talk with Junhee; a wide smile stretched across her face and it looked like she was teasing the latter. Hua seemed to have  _no_  problem talking to anyone else but  _Minseok_. Minseok hugged and tried not to get herself too worked up about it and instead decided to read the parchment in front of her, quill in hand. Kris still had her eyes on them, which irritated her slightly.  
  
“You know, if you miss Hua that much, you can go work with her if you want,” Minseon said.  
  
Kris stiffened and her face turned red, “ _What?_  No. I don’t- I don’t miss her,” Kris stammered. Kris wasn’t one to express herself much. Minseon glanced at the pair once more.  _Oh._  She leaned toward Kris, who tried to hide her face, embarrassed.  
  
“Is it Junhee?”  
  
Kris’ eyes widened and elbowed Minseon in the arm when the latter chuckled. Her eyes trailed over to the Ravenclaw girl. Minseon’s eyes started at her, pretty short brown hair, her cute smile and perfect face. Minseon smiled. She had never talked Junhee, but she just seemed naturally sweet and kind, which made her wonder  _why_  she was hanging out with Hua. She did not ask Kris, who was mortified and hid behind hair ponytail.  
  
Once Minseok’s gaze shifted from Junhee to Hua, Minseon shook herself out of her trance and went back to her parchment and spared Kris from more teasing.  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
Before she knew it, the first semester came to an end/. Minseon woke up to the castle covered in snow, with Baekhyun rushing to grab her wrist and drag her out of the dorms as soon as she stepped out of the common room. They had grown close. They bonded over muggle video games and picked on Chanyeol even though Baekhyun was the one who did it the most. Minseon would  _never_. The younger boy was endearing. He was mischievous yet caring - as he had shown by siding with Minseon on the whole  _Hua is being an ass_  argument. Most of their friends settled on letting it slide, but not Baekhyun. And he reminded her so much of Jongdae, who was back in Korea; who was also a fake flirt, the loud whines, his absence of  _personal space-_.  
  
He managed to make her smile each time they talked, and she was grateful for that.  
  
They finally arrived to the corridor longing the gardens, arch ways opening to the backyard. Baekhyun’s grin widened to the sight of the white-covered garden. He hesitated, walking between two columns, and it took a hand between his shoulder blades for him to walk into the snow with a small cry.  
  
“God I missed the snow,” he whispered.  
  
“Is that why you dragged me out there in the cold?”  
  
Baekhyun flicked Minseon’s arm. “You’ve been cooped up in the dorms and or the library for what feels like weeks. You only ever come out for practice these days,” he whined.  
  
“Well, sorry I got exams this year-” she started, exaggerated tone barely hidden.  
  
“You got no time for me, I miss you,” he whined, but there was something else.  
  
There was a weird thing about Baekhyun that Minseon had not figured out yet. Baekhyun was popular. He had a band of cool friends. He was known through the whole school as That Guy Who Opened His Mouth Too Much™. He fist bumped half of the school in form of greeting, yet there were moments where he looked vulnerable - so painfully  _insecure_  - and he grew quiet. Minseon understood. It happened, and sometimes there didn’t even need to be a particular reason and perhaps with was just protective instinct, but Minseon couldn’t help but wonder who had  _hurt_  Baekhyun for him to be like this. Her features softened. She carefully slid a hand along Baekhyun’s arm and curled her cold fingers around his wrist.  
  
“Of course not. I miss you too,” She pouted. “It’s not my fault I have all those damn assignments at the same time!”  
  
Baekhyun chuckled and straightened up a little bit. He leaned against the brunette, ignoring her usual need of personal space in favor of getting some warmth as they walked under the snow.  
  
“Too bad we won’t see each other those holidays.” He sighed. “You know Hua is gonna stay here too? And like, everyone else is going home.” She could  _hear_  the frown on his face.  
  
“Ugh, yeah, don’t remind me,” she groaned. “At least I have Jungah. And, I don’t know, maybe I’ll make friends with Junhee even though Hua has been hogging her recently, as well as avoiding me and, by association, the whole team.”  
  
“Junhee’s super nice, she used to help me for charms classes. You two should definitely hang out because I’m sure she’s gonna be mad when she learns that Hua’s being an ass to you.” Baekhyun said and Minseon chuckled. He continued, “Also you befriending her last friend who’s not hanging out with you is a good revenge.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Baekhyun, I know you’re angry because Hua’s being annoying, but why are  _you_  so affected by it? I should be angrier than you.”  
  
Baekhyun shrugged.  
  
“It’s just, unfair, that’s all.” He turned his head away, and quickened his pace so that he was a few steps ahead, before turning around to face his friend. Minseon stared at him, unimpressed by his answer. He sighed. “Okay, I had a friend who just stopped talking to me and ignored me from one day to the next like, two years ago, and i  _might_  still be bitter over it,” he quickly added, looking anywhere but at Minseon.  _Oh_. She nudged him.  
  
“Aw, don’t be embarrassed about it, give me a name, your former friend won’t be a problem anymore-”  
  
“I knew you were a murderer, you have that aura around you.” They started giggling, elbowing each other before going back to silence, staring at snow that was still falling in the garden.  
  
“Thank you, for having my back, Baekhyun,” She hummed, “but I can fight my own battles, and in that case my battle is kicking Hua out of her random hate fit.” She expected her younger friend to laugh it off, but he didn’t, dropping his head against her shoulder.  
  
“I know. I just want you to know I’m here for you.”  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
The first few days of Christmas holidays, Minseon took time for herself, laying around in the Gryffindor dormitories. She was alone most of the time, and on some other occasions she talked to some - although the talkative ones prefered to stay with Hua. Minseon didn’t mind being alone. It wasn’t the first time their parents couldn’t take care of them while they were on break since they were too busy with work. She was used to it and liked the tranquil time being alone had brought her.  
  
At some point the desire to  _actually_  socialize started itching, her skin buzzing with the need to get up, move and  _do something_. That’s when she remembered Junhee, and how highly Baekhyun had spoken of her.  
  
She thought that she would be the one to take the first step, but it was actually the ravenclaw girl who walked toward her first. Minseon had been in the banquet hall, eating alone - Jungah had disappeared with Zitao, one of her hufflepuff friends, upon entered the room - when she felt someone sit on the bench, just a few centimeters away. She jumped, not expecting anyone and turned around to see Junhee’s nervous smile and beautiful eyes. Minseon made a quick scan of her surrounding, wondering if-  
  
“Are you- Are you maybe looking for Hua,” she asked, voice slow.  
Junhee shook her head, features brightening up as a small laugh escaped her lips and  _oh okay she could see why Kris was smitten_. “No, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s just, you’re new in our year and in Hua’s group so i was curious? I usually hang out with them when I can, but Hua’s been weird about it this year.” Minseon huffed.  
  
“Weird? You can say that.” She did not answer the silent interrogation or Junhee’s raised brow. “So- uh, well, I’m Minseon.”  
  
“I know, Kris told me a while back.” Minseon repressed the  _need_  to snicker. “I’m Junhee.” The brunette bowed her head slightly, acknowledging her. Junhee leaned back, placing her elbow on the table and cradled her chin in her hand. “You weren’t here before so I guess you moved? Where are you from?”  
  
Minseon turned to face her, legs crossed under herself, “We used to live in Korea, but our parents had to move to England because of work. Our family wasn’t going to do something special for christmas or anything so we decided to stay in Hogwarts for the holidays.”  
  
Junhee nodded, a small smile on her lips. “Same. I haven’t spent more than two holidays with my family since I’ve been in Hogwarts.” Junhee said. Minseon winced and Junhee panicked, “That sounded miserable. I just meant that I knew who usually stayed back for the holidays. It’s nice to see a new face.”  
  
Minseon chuckled, nodding. “Are you one of those girls who only talk to people to cry on their shoulders about how terrible their life is?”  
  
“No!” Junhee flushed, embarrassed. “That’s not what I meant, don’t play with my words!” She whined and Minseon laughed. Junhee huffed before she talked again, “Do you have siblings? You said  _we_  when you said you were staying over.”  
  
Minseon grinned at Junhee’s not-so-subtle attempt to change the subject, but humoured her. “Yes, her name is Jungah, she’s a 5th year hufflepuff.” She couldn’t help but grin proudly, even if there was nothing to be particularly proud of. It looked like a light went off in Junhee’s head.  
  
“Doesn’t she hang out with Taozi? I’ve seen him with an asian girl. Tan skin? Tall?” Junhee asked and Minseon nodded; a bright, proud grin on her lips. Junhee repositioned her legs, so that she was closer to the gryffindor.  
  
“So, I’ve noticed that you’re often alone, and I was wondering if you wanted to study with Hua and I? I’m actually surprised that she didn’t ask you first. I mean, you’re in the same team and every _thing-_.”  
  
A hand grabbed at Junhee’s shoulder which got both of their attention. The ravenclaw student smiled when she saw Hua, her grin falling a bit when she noticed Hua’s hard eyes. They were red, as if she had been crying. Minseon, however, wasn’t that kind, and glared back. “Well, Junhee, maybe she didn’t ask me because she  _hates my guts_.”  
  
She saw Hua’s jaw clench, and surprisingly the pink haired girl avoided her eyes. Perhaps she was ashamed of her own comportment. She pulled Junhee to stand, and the latter didn’t really resist considering the awkward situation. She turned to Minseon, with a confused smile on her face.  
  
Minseon watched them walk away and squinted when she heard Hua’s whisper of  _’don’t talk to her_ ’.  
  
  
The comment made Minseok snap. She got to her feet and marched toward them.  
  
  
“What is your problem?!” Minseon didn’t even wait to get to Hua to raise her voice. Her captain turned and faced her, confident that Minseon’s abrupt personality change wasn’t a threat. Minseon was fuming. “What do you have against me? What the  _fuck_  have I done for you to hate me like that ?”  
  
Minseon was glad that the dining hall was mostly empty. She wasn’t fond of being the center of attention, but maybe also because Hua looked like she was going to cry.  _Again_.  
  
The pink haired girl didn’t answer. Instead, she bit her lip and pulled Junhee away, who was concerned above everything else.  
  
Minseon sighed, more defeated than angry.  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
  
_Dear Jongdae_ , she started.  
  
Minseon brought her quill to her lips, the feather caressed the soft skin with its tip. She was sitting in the library, on that one table near the window where she could see the snow fall on Hogwart’s gardens. Jungah was reading on the seat opposing her - or at least she was trying to. Although, it looked like she was more on the edge of sleep. Minseok smiled when she met her sister’s eyes, and the younger girl had abandoned all pretense of working and flopped down onto the table with a groan.  
  
_How are you? Also, when the fuck are you going to get a phone? I know your family only relies on magic, but some of us are advanced and know that phones are way easier. At least get Line. Or Kakaotalk. I just miss talking to you. Even Yoongi got one, and Yoongi is constipated when it comes to anything muggle.  
  
I’m sorry. I know it’s been a while since I last wrote to you, but consider this letter your early Christmas gift. Here, get an update on my life! Wow! Awesome!  
  
So unlike what you had predicted - you little shit - I did make friends. Most are Gryffindors, like me. There’s this guy named Baekhyun. He reminds me of you. He’s as annoying, yet still manages to make me do what he wants. You both are insufferable and dumb, and I can’t say no to stupid people. I mean, that’s basically why I’m still your friend._  
  
Minseon chuckled. She could almost hear Jongdae’s whine in her ears; a prediction of his reaction when he’d read her letter.  
  
_Besides Baekhyun there are a few girls, Kris and Amber, who are both in my quidditch team - I know you want more news about the quidditch team, but this will have to wait because it’s gonna get long. They’re both really cool. Although, I nearly screamed the first time I met Kris. Because she’s a) very tall and b) super quiet - like i turned around and there she was. It was weird but we bonded over it. She told me she was a pro at intimidating newcomers, and that it always was all accidental. Then there’s Chanyeol, who’s a beater in my team. He’s pretty much a loud puppy, but he means well. He’s also a cuddler. I learnt this because I went into his and Baekhyun’s room for some late night cramming and well, he fell asleep. On me. No, Jongdae, put that wand down, he_  just  _slept._  
  
  
Minseon chuckled. She did miss Jongdae and he acted like he was the only man allowed to touch her. It was cute.  
  
  
_Anyway. Quidditch. I’m on the team. I’m a seeker. The team likes me, and_  no  _I’m not getting bullied. As a matter of fact we’re all ganging up on Chanyeol. The poor kid is too easy to make fun of. I bet that he secretly likes it. But yeah. There is one problem. That problem is a certain Lu Hua._  
  
  
The mere action of writing her name made Minseon frown. An unimpressed eyebrow raised at her own parchment. She must have subconsciously groaned out loud because Jungah opened her eyes to giggle at her.  
  
“Are you starting on Hua?”  
  
Minseon did not dignify her with an answer. Jungah didn’t need one, judging by the snort she let out. She started writing again with a palpable hostility in her movements.  
  
_Before you start squirming in your seat,_ no _this is not a romance story. Hua is my captain._  
  
  
Minseon ended up writing out  _everything_. How she had started to be annoying from the second time they met up until now. About how most of their interactions involved Hua glaring at her or ignoring her. She told Jongdae about how whenever the conversation was about Minseon, Hua would either leave or change the topic, She also mentioned how none of her friends understood Hua’s attitude and how she would only shrug when asked about it. She wrote down in many details the ‘Junhee Incident™’, as she liked to call it.  _Who is she to tell her friend not to talk to me? Fuck you ?? Maybe you were down or something but that doesn’t excuse anything ??_  
  
The thing that frustrated her more was the fact that Hua didn’t seem to remember that they were on the same team. Sure, the fact that Minseon was a seeker meant that she didn’t interact that much with the others on the field, and for once she was thankful. She could already envision Hua never passing her the quaffle, if she had been a chaser. Or never trusting her to protect the goals, or the other members of the bludgers. The mood of the team was greatly affected, the awkward tension was obvious - and almost painful - mid air.  
  
Minseon dropped her quill to the table and exhaled in delight. She pressed her hands against her eyes and relaxed as she felt the weight on her shoulder lift. Jungah opened her eyes again - how she was not asleep on the table yet was a mystery to Minseon.  
  
“Feels good?”  
  
Jesus, yes. It was so good to just bitch about it all; to throw it on paper and being able to talk about it without anyone telling Minseon that  _Hua is super nice thought you’re just imagining it._  She was now realising how much talking with Baekhyun was actually relaxing. Damn, she missed him.  
  
“Fuck yeah.”  
  
With all those negative feelings written down, Minseon felt happier when she got back to writing, ending her letter for Jongdae.  
  
  
☼  
  
  
The ladies bathroom on the seventh floor was a common place for girls to come seek peace or silence. It was usually the least used facility - since it was situated at a high point and was close to both of the ravenclaw and gryffindor dormitories. People from those houses just felt better doing what they had to do inside their dorms’ bathrooms. It was also void of any ghosts unlike the first floor's bathroom - Myrtle Warren was a real pain in the ass when she was in the mood, Minseon learned. Kris had told her a bit about it. She told Minseon of the victims of the dead girl's prank more time than once when Minseon had just wanted to relieve herself between two classes. After a few times, she decided that fuck it, now she would either rush to the second floor or just wait until the end of the day, because feeling the toilets flushing under her was not pleasant.  
  
  
Minseon had not originally planned to go to that specific place, since she was just on her way back to the gryffindor's dormitory. The castle was mostly silent. Most of the students on break were away for another week, and Minseon had just wanted to get back to her dorms and nap - the love for sleep was a common trait in their family. And that's what Minseon would have done if she had not heard choked cries when she walked past the entrance of the bathroom. She stopped, not sure she had heard right. But then it echoed again. A sob. And then another. It was the sound of someone obviously trying not to break down. She walked in, Mom Instincts™ taking over.  
  
  
From the voice, she had speculated it was a girl hiding in the bathroom. And Minseon had been right. Minseon discovered the girl when she turned the corner around the first row of stalls. What she had not expected was for the girl to be  _Hua_. She was the last person that Minseon would have expected. Hua’s pastel pink hair was untied and heel of her hands pressed over her eyes. She curled up around herself not caring about her skirt riding up her thighs. She was bawling, crying, and for once Minseon felt confounded. She remembered the red puffy eyes she already had two days ago, when she dragged Junhee away from Minseon. And one part of her was telling her to leave, because Hua had been nothing but an asshole to her since the beginning of the year, but the other part was pulling her toward the other girl, telling her to sit close and help her through whatever problem she was having.  
  
  
  
Hua might be an asshole, but Minseon wasn’t.  
  
  
  
She took a deep breath. As much as she hated her, Minseon's protective instincts were stronger. In no way she was capable of leaving someone in tears, alone, when she knew she could have helped. A voice in the back of her head was screaming that Hua hated her and that there was no way she could help, but she decided to ignore it. So she closed the distance between them and took a seat on the cold stone floor, not exactly knowing what to do.  
  
  
Hua looked up. It seemed that she had gotten more upset at the sight of Minseon. She looked away with a humorless snort, rubbing her nose with her sweater’s heavy sleeve.  
  
"Did you come here to make fun of me ?" Her voice wavered, dying in her throat.  
  
  
"No, I didn't."  
  
  
Before she realised it, Minseon had raised a hand, brushing Hua's hair away from her face. The long strands were a mess. Some were wet from tears, some even having snot in them, but she did not care. She pulled it up so she could see the other girl’s face better. She decided not to think too much of her of her actions, nor about how cute Hua looked when she had this loom on her face; much like  _deer caught in the headlights_. "I know I might be the last person you want to see right now, but I'm not leaving you alone and crying."  
  
  
  
And her words were so sincere and soft, leaving no place for a no, Hua couldn't help but choke on another whimper, tears leaving her eyes again in an unstoppable flow. She didn't even care when Minseon slipped a hand on her neck, rubbing soothing circles on her skin, a kind of skinship the both of them never would have thought they'd achieve. Hua leaned on the other girl’s shoulder, crying out without explanation, and Minseon waited, a silent but solid presence here to support the other girl.  
  
  
Little by little, Hua started to calm down, cheeks wet highlighting her light freckles. Minseon thought that she must have acquired them with all those hours on a broom under the sun. Hua tried controlling her breathing, which was the only sound that filled their ears. Only when it was completely silent did she finally speak up.  
  
  
"Thanks.” Her voice was wet, broken. She winced.  
  
  
Minseon hummed, no problem, fingers that were still in the other girl's neck descending to her shoulder.  
  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
  
Hua backed up against the wall and fiddled with a few locks of pink hair between her fingers. She examining them absently.  
  
  
"I'm- I just-" A sigh. She looked up to the ceiling. "N.E.W.T. stress, quidditch stress, I'm just putting a lot of pressure on my own shoulders and I'm- I’m tired- and now my parents are divorcing-," she saw the smaller girl eyes widen and stopped her with a glance before she could say anything. "It's okay. I knew it would happen. It just feels much more real now that they called me to tell me."  
  
  
She slowly got on her feet, Minseon following her figure with careful eyes as she walked toward a stall to take some toilet paper. She tried to dry her cheeks, her eyes, before blowing her nose. She threw it in the trash can, cleaning her hands in the sink.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," Minseon whispered when Hua walked back toward her. The other girl shook her head.  
  
  
"No. Don't be. It's no one's fault."  
  
  
  
She let her words hang in the air between them. Minseon was looking down, biting on her lips as her train of thoughts drew a blank. Now what? she thought. They weren’t friends. Either she could walk out now and end this awkward suffering or she could stay, wait until Hua asked her to leave-  
  
  
"If there is someone who has to apologize here it's me."  
  
  
"What?" It caught Minseon by surprise. Minseon wasn't an idiot, she knew what Hua was talking about, but she didn't expect Hua to want to have this conversation now. Or, to ever want it at all.  
  
"Don't play dumb, you know what I'm talking about," Hua whispered, part of it provoked by sheer discomfort.  
  
"I've been a pure asshole to you." She violently threw a hand in the air, exasperated by her own actions. "And not even for a good reason! Like, what the  _fuck_. How did I become like this."  
  
  
Minseon smiled for a second, a simple nervous reflex. There was nothing to smile about. "Can I ask why?" Hua groaned, hiding her face in her hands and somehow the mood lifted, Minseon chuckling.  
  
  
"I was- I was jealous,okay?" She ruffled her own hair, pulling it on her face, an off handed whisper of ‘god, I sound so stupid’ that Minseon wanted to laugh at. "I was jealous."  
  
Her cheeks were flushed a pretty pink. Minseon wanted to reach out and compare the colour to Hua's hair.  
  
"You were new and suddenly everyone was interested in you, looked up to you, and wanted to talk to you. All the people i usually hung out with - Baekhyun, Amber, Kris, fuck even Junhee - they were all interested in you. And then you were even better at school than me, managing without even breaking a sweat between homework and quidditch-”  
  
  
"I was just being mean because I couldn't handle not being in the spotlight, I guess." There was a sad tone in her voice, and Minseon was not oblvious to the way Hua had said that, with spite. She had pointed out a flaw in her that she probably knew about since a while, but a flaw was still a flaw. A flaw was something you could hate yourself for, a weakness. Minseon didn’t need to be close to Hua to know the latter did  _not_  want weaknesses or to have them exposed.  
  
  
"But you're just, so fucking nice and talented, there is like, no excuses for me to act that way. So, yeah. I'm sorry, Minseon."  
  
  
A few second passeds in silence. Hua's eyes were downcast as she waited for a painful backlash that never came. Instead Minseon's soft voice echoed into the empty bathrooms.  
  
"It's- No, It's not okay. I understand.” Minseon said and Hua’s eyes widened. Minseon scratched her left cheek, face becoming a bit redder.  
  
  
“I mean- I'm jealous of you too. For a lot of things. You mentioned most of them already." Minseon said quietly and Hua looked up and timidly met Minseon's eyes. "It's true that the team has been extra nice to me and asked a lot about me, but they know everything about you. Because I asked, since you weren't really talking to me. They defended you when I said you were mean, they trust you without one bit of doubt. They kept saying i was imagining things, that you weren’t like that. And that's- that's awesome, you know? You take care of them so well they know that you have their back. And that they will have yours."  
  
  
"Hey, I was apologizing don't turn this into a Praising Lu Hua party," a flustered Hua interrupted, a finger shushing her. Minseon grinned.  
  
  
"Could we,” The pink haired girl extended a hand toward the brunette. "Can we- Can we start again?"  
  
  
Minseon looked down, observing the delicate hand presented to her. An invitation for a handshake. For a second, she considered saying no, a petty revenge she would get no satisfaction from. So she nodded.  
  
“Yeah. I guess we did start from the wrong foot.” She took then Hua’s hand in her own, looked up in her eyes.  
  
  
“Hi, I’m Minseon, it’s nice to meet you.”  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
Hi Jongdae, it’s me again,  
  
I know I sent a letter like three days ago but this is a little note because there has been a serious update. Like, the good kind of serious. So me and Jungah stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas break - parents are busy, what a shock - and long story short, i talked to Hua. She apologized. We’re starting again. I just thought this was an important update.  
  
  
Minseon-  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
  
“Hey, what do you want to do after Hogwarts ?”  
  
No one was around. It was only the two of them in one of the classroom, practicing spells. Minseon nearly dropped her wand when Hua spoke; not used to the other girl acting normally around her. She looked back at the object in her hand - yew wood, phoenix feather core, twelve inches and a half, surprisingly swishy - and took her time thinking about her answer. It wasn’t that she didn’t know what she wanted to do, it was more of an anxiety created by those who thought it was silly - her parents, mostly.  
  
“I- I wanna get into magical creatures care. Or something. In that field.” She heard Hua hum, could feel her eyes on her. “When we were in Korea and at school, we had that one teacher for care of magical creatures who had the authorisation to bring them in and even raise them on school grounds. He had this little field dedicated to him, and Jongdae - my best friend - and I used to spend our free time there.”  
  
She could feel an easy smile grow on her lips. She knew her eyes were probably shining. “There was this one time he brought back a baby dragon. She was so small, barely the size of my arm-”  
  
“That’s not what I would consider small, but sure.” Hua interrupted with a laugh.  
  
“It is for a dragon. We named her Jinju. She’s a Korean Whitehorn. She has this pearlescent color on her scales and basically looks like a giant snake with white spikes on her back, and- yeah, anyway. Our teacher trusted us, and let us approach her-”  
  
Minseon stopped in her tracks,  _I’m rambling,_  and flushed when she saw the way Hua was looking at her with interest, but mostly endearment. “Sorry. I got excited. I really like dragons.”  
  
Hua shifted in her seat, before she got up and walked toward Minseon -  _why are we even sitting that far away from each other_  she whispered under her breath - sitting on a chair she had moved to face the other girl. “It’s cute that you get excited about them like that, don’t apologize for it.”  
  
The brunette had to bite the corner of her mouth to refrain herself from smiling too much, but she was pretty sure Hua saw right through her. It was weird to not have to be on guard, to let go of her walls and not be waiting for a mean comment or to be ignored and left with only confusion and disappointment. “Did someone ever tell you something negative about it? You wanting to work with creatures. Is that why you didn’t wanna talk about it more?”  
  
“I-”  _yeah,_  she wanted to answer, and at the same time she didn’t know if she could. She didn’t know if she was ready to push the wall between the two of them,  _confiding_  in her captain when the latter had been so far from a friend a few days ago. “My parents, I guess. They don’t seem super enthusiastic about it.” Hua hummed, looking her right in the eyes as if to tell her to go on.  
  
Minseon waited, for a reaction, something, brows cocked when there was none. “Are you offering me to vent? Are you looking for ways to amend yourself??”  
  
“What ! What’s the problem with me wanting to know more about you !” Hua leaned back into her chair, momentarily forgetting that she had turned it so she could lean on it, catching herself last minute on the table. She groaned, nursing her elbow as it violently came in contact with the table behind her when she tried not to fall. Minseon laughed at her pain. “Anyway. Please go on,” the pink haired girl added, shaking her hand in front of the other girl.  
  
“So- My dad isn’t a wizard, he’s a businessman, working in some bank or some shit. I never really understood. He’s pretty  _meh_  about animals in general, but when I told him about wanting to, I don’t know, seclude myself in a dragon farm for the rest of my life, he was pretty against it.” She rested her chin in her palm, indifferent to all of this, exposing thoughts she had already been through time and time again. “And then there is my mom, who’s a witch, but she’s just- a  _you can do better_  kind of mom, you know? Just-  _you can do better, you’re so talented, you’re worth more than this,_ ” she raised a hand in the air, and stressed the emphasis on  _‘this’_. “But at least I know they won’t do anything to, like,  _really_  prevent me from doing that. Just that they won’t like it, and they will tell me that everyday, but they won’t stop me.”  
  
A hum of acknowledgment left Hua’s throat, “All is good, then. Nothing is stopping you from opening your own dragon farm.” The brunette chuckled.  
  
“Yeah, I guess. What about you, though? What do you want to do?”  
  
  
“Quidditch!” She smiled brightly, and Minseon mirrored it.  
  
  
“Why does that not surprise me?”  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
“Ouch!”  
  
  
Minseon giggled and avoided Hua’s slap at shoulder as revenge for the former lightly pulled at one strand of her pink hair. “Sorry.” The obvious, playful gummy smile on her face was everything but sorry. Hua rolled her eyes and went back to painting her toenails, and pulled her hair away from Minseon’s bored hands. The elder sighed, flopping back down on the bed, making sure not to touch anything with her recently painted black nails. Hua had insisted on black, saying it would make her sexy; and Minseon recently discovered she couldn’t resist Hua’s puppy eyes.  
  
The older girl closed her eyes, concentrating on the sounds around - hoots and mewls from student’s familiars, the footsteps in the corridor, voices in the common room downstairs, Hua’s poor attempt at beatboxing. She snorted, but Hua did not take offense, so Minseon concentrated on her lithe figure, back turned to her. Even from that view, Hua was beautiful.  
  
She was wearing a light lace tank top, shoulders showing. Minseon could see a few pimples, acne scars. She could see light freckles, a careless tan she could line out with a finger, but didn't dare to.  
  
Hua exhaled loudly, recapping the polish bottle before falling down on the bed, a few centimeters away from Minseon, and raised her hands to the ceiling. “Finally. This always takes forever.”  
  
Minseon chuckled, turning on her side so she could see her friend. “Maybe because you take forever choosing a color even though you only have three bottles. And you could change their color too, if you weren't lazy.”  
  
Hua playfully banged her left foot against Minseon’s leg. "As someone who’s half muggle born i thought you'd understand the importance of nail polish, Minseok! What's fun is to collect them. I can't just use magic to shift colors, it loses all its interest ! And I never paint my nails, so I have to choose carefully, okay? I have to try- "  
  
“Emphasis on try-” Another hit.  
  
“Try to find a color for the next few week, it needs to match my mood you know?” Hua turned her head toward Minseon, who was already watching.  
  
“No, actually I don’t. I only wore polish because you insisted. Also, black goes with everything.”  
  
“You choose the easy answer, _I_  have a sense of adventure.” Minseon rolled her eyes.  
  
“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. I mean, you got orange on your nails.” Hua shoved hear away with the heel of her hand, grumbling something about  _orange being a really cool color why do you hate me like this let me live god dammit-_  Minseon chuckled, taking back her position on her right side, eyes falling on the bright pink hair.  
  
  
  
  
  
“What’chu slee- thinking about?” Hua was half asleep.  
  
  
“Were you going to say sleeping?” Minseon said and Hua groaned, let me live i’m tired. Minseon giggled. “I was thinking, do you think I should let my hair grow?”  
  
The other girl’s eyes flew open, an indignant shout of no! out of her mouth quicker than anticipated. She took Minseon’s face between her hands, efficiently pinning her against the mattress with Hua’s elbows on each side of her body, looking at her with a dormant gaze for a few seconds too long to be just innocent. Minseon wanted to classify this moment into the this is awkward part of her life but the way her belly twisted told her that no, this belonged into the  _i have too many feelings help_  folder.  
  
“No,” Hua whined, repeating again after a moment, quieter. “You look really cute with short hair.” She leaned forward, pressing her lips against Minseon’s cheek. “The cutest.”  
  
The older girl flushed, not sure what to say. But Hua was not waiting for an answer, her fingers traveling in the dark, thick wavy hair, massaging the top of her scalp and descending to her neck. Minseon shivered, very much conscious of how intimate this looked and how loud her heart was beating, praying that Hua would not hear it - but a part of her wanted her to, so that this weird tension could finally break.  
  
  
But Hua sat back up, trailing her fingers down from Minseon’s nape to her collarbone, before removing them from the soft skin. “I should get going, I’m pretty sure it’s past curfew.”  
  
Minseon didn’t even have time to bid her goodnight, and could only follow her silhouette with her eyes. She was raised onto her elbows, skin still weirdly burning from her friend’s touch.  
  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
“Oh, there you are!”  
  
  
Minseon couldn’t be bothered to open her eyes. Today was one of winter’s rare lukewarm days, a sign that spring was waiting behind winter’s door, ready to take over. She had dragged Hua out of the castle on a rare calm Saturday. Minseon was napping, leaning against a tree and the other reading a book she had borrowed from Minseon - muggle books were pretty cool, okay. However when Junhee walked toward them, Minseon felt Hua close her book and look up, “Are you okay?!”  
  
Minseon opened her eyes, alarmed by Hua’s tone, only to find Junhee taking Hua’s outstretched hand. She sat down on trembling legs between them. She had never seen her look so dishevelled, cheeks  _flushed_  and eyes a bit dazed, hair a total mess - or at least what could be considered a mess for Junhee, who always prided herself in looking prim and proper. “What happened?”  
  
“Um- I-” the ravenclaw groaned, and hid her face between her hands. “We- we made out?” She spread her fingers so her eyes peeked out, embarrassed more than anything. Minseon blanked out. Hua had her mouth open like a dead fish, looking at their friend with incredulous wide eyes.  
  
“With who?”  
  
“Kris?”  
  
Both Hua and Minseon looked at her like she had grown a second head, then glanced at each other, then back at her. “What the fuck,” was Hua’s extremely eloquent reaction.  
  
Junhee squealed and buried her face into her arms. “I don’t know how it- it just happened, okay?” She looked up and met Hua’s mocking eyes but it was complimented by a happy grin. Minseon was still trying to wrap her head around the situation.  
  
“Since how long did you have a crush on her?”  
  
“Why do you assume i do,” she whined.  
  
“Because Kris would never act first,” Minseon supplied, joining Hua to get more information out of Junhee. “So, how long?”  
  
“I don’t know- one day I just realised i had, feelings? I guess? I mean she’s tall and  _stunning_  and cute and-”  
  
They listened as Junhee explained how they accidentally found themselves in the same narrow corridor between shelves full of books, in the library, and the brunette looked up, feelings eyes on her. Hua seemed to be in a trance, eyes fixated on Minseon through Junhee’s tale of how she took Kris’ hand before she left, how her left hand snaked its way behind the taller girl’s neck, and Hua’s eyes were so oddly  _dark_. Minseon shivered when Junhee kissed Kris, a soft brush of lips at first - she pressed her own together, suddenly extremely conscious of them - then hard when Kris responded, pressing the gryffindor girl against the nearest shelf - which, thanks god, was against a wall. Hua’s eyes seemed to slowly drift down to Minseon’s lips - or so she thought - and the brunette felt way too warm when Junhee recounted how  _gentle_  Kris had been, unsure of what was exactly going on, and the brunette couldn’t help but feel  _hands_  on her skin-  
  
“Anyway,” she breathed out. Hua turned away. “This happened, and I’m kind of freaking out-”  
  
  
_Yeah,_  Minseon thought, trying to make sense of the past seconds, _this happened_.  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
Minseon took a deep breath before pressing the call button. It wasn’t that she was scared - alright, she might have been a  _little bit_  scared - but they hadn’t talked to each other, as in really  _talk_  since what felt like forever, and the fear of not knowing how to act was creeping up on her. She loved Jongdae and missed him, but her anxiety was stronger. And her need to talk ever more. So she called him, phone pressed against her ear, teeth absently gnawing on a nail, not caring how it would affect her manicure. Finally, he picked up.  
  
“Minseon?”  
  
She couldn’t help but smile brightly, his voice was still the same - of course it was, but time and space hammered fears in her mind. He sounded sleepy, and she remembered it was close to midnight in Korea. “Hey, you got a bit of time to talk?”  
  
He chuckled. “I always got time for you. What’s up? You got my letter like, two days ago, I didn’t think you’d wanna call that early.”  
  
“Woaw, excuse me from missing my best friend,” she whined. “I haven’t heard your voice in so long, I got impatient.”  
  
“And?”  
  
She bit her lower lip. Damn, he knew her too well. She could  _hear_  his smug smile on the other side of the line - on the other side of the world.  
  
“And,” she started, trying not to sound too exasperated, “I might be looking for someone to talk to. Someone who’s not in Hogwarts.” Jongdae hummed,  _go on_ , “Someone who doesn’t know Hua.”  
  
She winced at her own quietness, and the way she mumbled. Jongdae on the other hand seemed to find it all so amusing, if the way his pompous voice resonated in the phone was any indication. “I see you’re in dire need of someone to confide in,” she would have pinched him, if she had been there. And he knew it. And he was so happy not to be there, because he could tease her to no end. “So. Tell me about your crush on Hua.”  
  
“I don’t have a  _crush_ -”  
  
“Uhuh. Sure.” So much trust. So much faith. What a shock. She sighed into the microphone.  
  
“Okay,” she conceded. “I have huge, fat, gay crush on my team captain.” Jongdae barked a laugh.  
  
“I knew it! From the moment you wrote that this wasn’t a romantic story, i  _knew_  it was one. So. What’s up.”  
  
“You sound like a character from Mean Girls.”  
  
“It’s my aesthetic. Spit it, ‘Seon.”  
  
And so she did, talked about things he knew - how she would treat her first, how they got to become friends - to things he didn’t - the way they’d look at each other, how she couldn’t turn away and how her heart  _raced_ , how Hua’s favorite color was this hideous orange and how it was weirdly fitting. About her dreams and how she was aiming so far, for the stars, knowing there was so many possible ways for her to crash down and break. How she would spend evenings in her room and how she would often nap and how Minseon couldn’t help but look at her, feel creepy doing it, but stopping was the hardest thing to do. How Minseon seemed addicted to Hua’s smile and how she felt so pathetic.  
  
“Minseon.” Her monologue came to a halt, Jongdae’s voice startling her out of it. “You know there is no shame in having a crush, right? Or in liking a girl.”  
  
She stayed silent, absently reaching for the blanket and covering her legs. “I know.”  _There is nothing to be sad about_ , she told herself when tears threatened to spill.  
  
“You’ve been emotionally constipated this whole time, I guess experiencing feelings is a whole new thing for you,” Jongdae joked, sensing his friend’s discomfort. He yawned. “You’re just overwhelmed. How long have you been crushing on her ?”  
  
“I-” She thought about it, memories bringing her back to christmas holidays. “I don’t know. Since we made up, maybe. I don’t even know if she likes girls,” she added, quieter.  
  
“You should kiss her to find that out.”  
  
“I hate you, I asked for support, not your dumb ass,” she whined when he laughed at her.  
  
“You missed that dumb ass, though.”  
  
“Yeah,” declared after a pause, a soft smile on her lips. “Yeah, I did.”  
  
  
☼  
  
  
Minseon stepped outside of the dorms, Hua dragging her by the wrist. She was conscious of the Fat Lady’s eyes piercing holes in her back, but she was more interested in the light, delicate pressure above her hands. Hua’s thumb and forefinger firmly held her slender wrist, her other digits a featherlight feeling on her skin. Neither of them spoke, Hua either choosing to concentrate on the path she was leading them on or too aware of Minseon to talk, and Minseon was too lost in the feeling of the other’s hand slowly slipping from her wrist to her palm, and to her fingers - intertwining them.  
  
The silence was calming and it was a reminder that it was only the two of them. The way they were walking across the corridors, close enough for them to hold hands felt more intimate than ever. Minseon couldn’t face Hua, couldn’t break this perfect equilibre, so she let herself be lead, not taking notice of which way they were going. Just trying to focus on the hand in hers, appreciating the moment.  
  
And if she had paid attention she would have noticed the familiar path and wouldn’t have been surprised with the fresh air gently blowing at her face. Forcing herself to drag her mind away from Hua’s fingers, she raised her eyes to discover the Quidditch field. She didn’t know what she had been expecting when Hua had dragged her out of her bed that night, but it had not been this. Minseon turned her head toward the other girl, who was already looking at her, breaking the fleeting silence.  
  
“I saw that book about stars in your room.” Her cheeks were a darker shade of pink, which reminded Minseon of her lips, but she couldn’t tell if it was because of the cold or something else. “I thought we could stargaze,” there was a small smile on her face, something soft and quiet Minseon didn’t get to see often during the day, something Hua tended to hide under her joyful and quirky attitude. Something so genuine. “You could teach me.”  
  
She smiled back, squeezing Hua’s hand but not letting go.  
  
“Of course you’re choosing the only cold day of the week,” Minseon complained. Hua snorted an ugly sound that made Minseon roll her eyes. Spring had been rather warm so far, with the rare rainy days. Tonight must have been a spontaneous decision.  
  
They first sat in the middle of the field. Hua complained that looking up like that would hurt her neck, they laid down instead.  
  
“I can’t help it, I’m a delicate flower,” she huffed, and snuggled closer to Minseon who giggled, and let out a yeah right. Her laugh died down when she felt Hua holding onto her arm, cushioning her cheek against Minseon’s shoulder. Hua felt Minseon tense.  
  
“Sorry, I’m cold,” Hua looked up, eyes on Minseon’s face. “Is this okay?”  
  
Minseon barely nodded. If her face was as flushed as Hua’s had been earlier, she knew it wasn’t because of the cold. She looked up, contemplating the stars. She considered reaching for Hua’s hand again. She didn’t.  
  
And then, with Hua clinging to her, Minseon started talking, soft voice barely covering the noises around them; the melody of creatures living around the castle filling in the silence. She pointed to several stars, naming constellations and recounting stories about them, and slowly she managed to get comfortable, relaxing against Hua who kept hugging closer. She said it was because of the cold, and kept smiling through Minseon’s storytelling.  
  
“This one,” she said, pointing at a group of stars above them, “is the virgo constellation. The first time Jungah and I saw it, we linked the stars in a weird way. It looked like a sock.” Her nose wrinkled, a pout apparent on her face. Hua laughed, poking the tip of her nose with her finger. Minseon turned her head to face her, with a forced frown that made both of them laugh. Hua shifted closer, eyes on Minseon who suddenly couldn’t seem to remember how to breath.  
  
“Stars are great, right ?” She hated how her voice was trembling, witness of her anxiety.  
  
The light was falling on both of them, and Minseon could see the way Hua’s cheeks were flushed - just the cold, she kept telling herself - and how she would wet her pink lips, those same ones Minseon would find herself thinking about pressing against hers. She could feel Hua’s left hand shifting from her arm to her waist, pressing her closer again, impossibly so, and a gasp betrayed her. Minseon lifted her gaze to Hua’s eyes. Hua who had been looking at her for some time now. Hua who kept on sending her mixed signals. Hua who was oh so close. Hua whose dark eyes dropped to Minseon’s lips, then to her eyes again-  
  
She couldn’t breathe. Minseon wanted to believe that the hand on her waist meant something. That this jealousy-turned-friendship had evolved into more for Hua like it had for her. She wanted to believe, but she knew that hoping for something would only disappoint her. But she started to.  
  
She started to believe when Hua leaned closer, her eyes on the other girl’s lips. Minseon had never been so much aware of them, she wanted to bite them, to hide them somehow, but she didn’t dare to move, drunk on hope and wonder of what would happen. Hua seemed to want to say something, teeth nibbling on her lower lip for a second, eyes going back and forth between eyes and mouth, and she-  
  
She stops. Leans back. Turns her head away. Facing the stars once again.  
  
Minseon felt her stomach drop. It was disappointing, a heartbreak she could feel in her whole body, phantom pain from her chest to her hands. Hua detached herself from the other girl, and sat up.  
  
  
  
“Yeah. Stars are really beautiful.”  
  
  
☼  
  
  
There were things about a heartbreak that you could tell yourself, upon experiencing one, and an even broader selection of them when you thought the person who has hurt you didn’t know they had. “It’s okay, it won’t change anything between us,” Minseon whispered to herself when she got back in her bed that night. “I’ll just have to move on,” she hummed when she got up the next morning, eyes tired and puffy. She cried herself to sleep, as pathetic as she thought it sounded, cried  _for a girl_ , she thought she was more mature than that. “I’m fine,” she lied when Baekhyun asked her what was up, concern bleeding in his voice.  
  
What was hard was the fact that she  _needed_  to distance herself from Hua, couldn’t help but be reminded of that almost kiss Hua turned away from even though she had been the one to initiate it. She was the one to avoid her captain, for once, the one to immediately turn her attention toward something else upon seeing her. And what was worse, she thought, was how Hua didn’t even seem to care, or wouldn’t seek her out. She didn’t feel missed.  _Maybe she needs space too, maybe she backed away because she was scared,_  a little voice exclaimed, the steadiest thought she’d had since that evening - but also the one she believed least.  
  
Everyone noticed that something was wrong, but Minseon didn’t want to talk about it. Minseon was supposed to be a strong, older girl people could lean on. Minseon wasn’t supposed to cry because of a crush. So she just held on, felt herself crumble and tried to keep the little pieces from slipping away, her balance breaking. She just wanted to be numb, to forget it like nothing was wrong. It was her thing, ignoring her own emotions. If Jongdae was here he would scold her, take her wrist and drag her away to force her to talk. Jongdae wasn’t here, though. Baekhyun’s eyes were on her anyway.  
  
  
But she kept her facade up. Until she hit a wall.  
  
  
“Hua did you still want that book’s sequel? I finished it.”  
  
Minseon was Over It™. Or so she said. She didn’t need to make a big deal out of it. She’d had her breather. She could go back to being around Hua without feelings like death. And she was determined to act like nothing was wrong. Except Hua barely looked up to meet her eyes before realising who was talking to her. The brunette stood there, in the middle of their dormitory’s main hall, Hua sitting on an armchair and  _ignoring her_. “Hey. Lu Hua,” she tried again, and she could feel a weight in her stomach.  
  
Hua just frowned, refusing to look up.  _I see,_  she thought. _That’s how it is_. She pressed her lips together in a thin line, feelings the tears well up in the corner of her eyes.  _I worked so hard for this._  
  
She passed by a confused Kris, who tried to stop her, ask her what was wrong. She didn’t need that, she just wanted to get away from Hua. From everything related to her, just for a few hours. She heard Kris calling for her across the room, making a few students turn their head, but she kept going, only stopping when she reached her room, only to close the door behind her and finally let go.  
  
  
Her facade, shattering.  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
“Your relationship has always been so strange,” Baekhyun started. “It’s like, you both can’t accept the fact that you like each other so you take turns creating tension that isn’t there.”  
  
Kris reached out over the table to slap the back of the younger man’s head - or that was Minseon’s guess, she only heard him yelp and had her back turned to them, but it was a common gesture for Kris. “What I’m saying, is that you should stop repressing everything and tell her how you feel.”  
  
She knew by the way his voice ended up quiet that he just wanted this to end. Not for him, not for their friends to stop being divided by this eternal conflict, but because he was tired of seeing her all gloomy. “It’s just going to make everything worse, Baekhyun, I can’t help it if she hates my guts,” the brunette stated, reaching for the book she wanted on the shelf. She walked back to their table. Kris and her had to finish researches on dragons for the next Care for Magical Creatures class, and just needed to confirm facts - what with Minseon’s experience with them and Kris’s obsession with the animal.  
  
“You managed to make it work once. Can’t you do it again?”  
  
Minseon pressed her fingers against her eyes and groaned. “The first time I hated her and she was petty. This time I just want to get away from her even if she talks to me again,” she answered Kris. “I’m just, tired of this, I didn’t ask for this when I signed up for Hogwarts.”  
  
  
“What, the feelings for Hua or the constant drama?” Baekhyun said Kris slapped him again.  
  
  
Minseon was glad that she had friends to make her laugh about her emotional struggles.  
  
  
☼  
  
  
“So i was thinking,” Hua started, her chin propping her chin on Minseon’s shoulder.  
  
A week had passed since she started ignoring her, two since the brunette’s heartbreak. It was the first time Hua actually engaged a conversation with her,  _contact_  with her. And it only made her mad.  
  
“For the dark arts assignment,” she slipped her arms under Minseon’s, backhugging her. “If you want we could go do it at the library? Junhee told me there were pretty good books about-”  
  
Minseon slammed the locker door close, startling Lu Hua out of her sentence. She took a step back, her arms slipping away from the one sided embrace.  
  
“Minseon?” She ignored her, walking away from her, toward the door. “What’s wrong?”  
  
She stopped and turned around. Gears were turning in Minseon’s mind. There were so many ways to go about it, gentle and quietly, or explosive and abrasive, both or none. Just the cold silence. That’s one way Hua would have done it, if she had been in the same situation, being thrown from one side to the other, from ignoring her to acting like they were the closest friends. Minseon remembered Baekhyun and Kris’s words clear as the day. And this was it.  _This_  was the moment she would let her feelings talk. Because she was  _tired_  of this.  
  
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong,  _really_ ,” she snorted, a humorless sound. “Hua i’m just, I’m so tired of all of- i don't know, this,” she threw a hand in the air to emphasize what she was talking about. “All this push and pull. One second you’re friendly and flirty and you want us to smuggle after curfew to watch the stars and the next you’re ignoring me and yelling at me for no fucking reasons like how we were at the start. I thought we had made  _progress_  here! I don’t know what I did for you to be like this - or actually, maybe  _yes_ , i know, but you have to  _talk_  to me, Hua, I am not a fucking mind reader!”  
  
Lu Hua flinched, Minseon took a step forward, lowered her voice to a somehow calmer tone. Sharp, painful, but controlled.  
  
“I’m- I can’t know what I do wrong or not if you don’t speak to me. I don’t know what’s going on in your head for you to think it’s okay to act like that with me, but stop. Stop toying with me! You obviously know how I feel with the way you keep holding me close without doing anything! And I am not someone you can play with just to throw away when you feel like it. Kiss me or don't, but stop acting like you want to when you obviously don’t!”  
  
Minseon was never very vocal about her feelings, everyone knew that, and talking about them for what felt like the first time made her breathless.  
  
“I don’t know what this is, or the game you’re playing, but i want out.”  
  
  
And she walked away.  
  
  
Along with Hua’s heart.  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
It was late, but still early enough for students to be roaming around the castle, and Minseon knew where she'd be able to find her sister. Out of the two of them, it was well known that Jungah was the one usually seeking out her big sister, for affection, comfort or any kind of help. But tonight, Minseok was drained, tired, and really done with Hua's shit. Storming out of the quidditch lockers room, finally putting words on all this frustration and anger that had been stored inside her for the past few months hadn’t even felt good. Now that it was done, she couldn't help but feel sadly empty. And in dire need of a hug.  
  
Around a corner, she spotted Zitao. Minseon didn't know him that well, only that he was a hufflepuff, like her sister, and that they were often hanging out together. She approached him and thanked the gods for the glimmer of recognition in his eyes. Because  _fuck_  she did not feel like talking or explaining herself tonight. Before she even got to open her mouth he called Jungah, who had been sitting a bit behind, hidden from the older girl's eyes. She perked up, first glancing at her friend and then at her sister, and a soft smile spread on her lips. It soon turned into concern when she got closer, noticing the redness of Minseon's eyes and how down she looked.  
  
She took her hand, dragging her away in a quiet corner. Minseon decided that she couldn't even meet her eyes, all the emotions she had been trying to contain  _breaking_  her. The pieces kept on crumbling.  
  
  
"What happened?" Jungah asked Minseon shook her head.  _I don't even know_. "Is it Hua," Jungah asked in a softer voice. Minseon snorted. Of course it would be easy to figure out. She only ever had her feelings so out of place because of the other girl.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah i _t is-_ " Her voice broke into a sob, finally hiding her face in her little sister's shoulder.  
  
  
Jungah gasped, surprised by the so concerning and unusual breakdown. She was pained to see her like that. She held the brunette close, two arms secure on her back.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Minseon shook her head, pulling away for a second, and tried to dry her face of tears with her long sleeves without much success, since they kept falling and falling, unstoppable, evidence of the pent up frustration she had tried to keep inside.  
  
Finally, after a few minutes, the flow stopped, and Minseon breathed normally again. It was probably close to curfew now, and she knew she had to let her sister go. Had to go back to the dorms.  
  
"Sorry," she breathed out. Jungah shook her head, half of a smile on her mouth.  
  
"No, it's okay. I'm always the one doing that, usually,” glimpses of Jungah falling asleep on Minseon’s chest the day they’d learn they would move out, or Jungah crying because of her first unrequited crush resurging, the two sisters holding each other close. “I'm glad you're okay with crying on my chest. It must be more comfortable than yours." Minseon chuckled weakly, rolling her eyes at the obvious insult made toward her smaller breasts. She playfully landed a fist on her little sister's shoulder.  
  
"Thank you." A bittersweet smile stretched Minseon's lips. She turned away, on her way back to her dorms, and even though Jungah did not know what had transpired between Hua and her, she had a little idea. There was nothing she could not about it but be a silent support, and secretly she hoped it would all turn out well.  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
Minseon’s voice choked in her throat when she opened the door to Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s room. Kris was already there, weirdly enough, and the three of them got quiet once they saw her - almost like they’d been talking about her before. But she didn’t pay it any attention, shamelessly lying down on Baekhyun’s bed - the closest from the door - and curling up in a ball.  
  
  
“Make room, gays, I need cuddles.”  
  
  
It was lighthearted, it was playful, it was everything she needed not to think about Hua, and soon she got sandwiched between both Chanyeol and Baekhyun, both too happy of the - extremely rare - request Minseon made. Kris herself wasn’t a big fan of physical affection, but she laid on the armchair, knees pressed against her chest, a blanket draped over her body.  
  
In the dead of the night, Minseon couldn’t fall asleep, her mind numbingly watching like a movie the events of the day, and Baekhyun quietly asking her about them. She had to listen carefully, his voice set on the lowest setting in fear of waking up Chanyeol or Kris. And in the dead of the night, Minseon opened up, confiding in him, telling him all about how it only relieved her of a part of the weight and how much she hated having feelings.  
  
He only smiled, no jokes on the tip of his tongue, rubbing her arm warmly. “You’ll get through this. We’re here for you.”  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
Admittedly, neither Hua nor Minseon were on talking ground. It hadn’t been much of a problem in their daily lives - if you were to turn a blind eye to the sad way they’d stare at the other when they weren’t looking. Their friends were, as always, confused by the sudden pit their relationship seemed to have fallen in, but no questions were asked - at least not in public. And then both girls remembered that they were part of the same quidditch team and that the official quidditch cup had started.  
  
  
Minseon panicked a little bit because, outside of the lockers the tension was  _palpable_. She did not want this stupid quarrel to ruin their game, she did not want to be one of the reason they’d lose the match. She entered the lockers more nervous than she’d be on the field, only to find Hua determined to work the team’s mood up.  
  
“We gonna kick their asses to hard they’re going to fly back home-”  
  
“I know you’re used to it but don’t aim for the goals, players getting through the hoops don’t count as points,” Kris added calmly.  
  
“You wouldn’t even be able to stop them if they did, though,” Hua claimed.  
  
“I’m not crazy enough to try and stop our chaser’s shot, dudes, y’all are too good for me,” and with that last addition Kris high fived Hua, Amber and Jinki. Minseon felt much more relaxed about it.  
  
  
And so glad both her and Hua were mature enough to get past  _this_  for the team.  
  
  
Soon enough they were on the field, Headmaster Lee’s wand to his neck, the whistle signaling the beginning of the game echoing in what felt like an  _arena_. Minseon took off, eyes on the lookout for even one sparkle of light that glinted off of the golden snitch’s surface. They were playing against Ravenclaw and there were no doubt that Junhee was somewhere in the crowd, wearing her house’s colors but silently cheering every time Kris would block a quaffle. The brunette’s eyes slipped through the field, locking on Yixing, the opposing team’s seeker. He was already looking back at her, a small satisfied smile on his lips. He had yet to make a move too.  
  
Quidditch games could last a long times - with the longest in history lasting three  _months_  according to  _Quidditch through the ages_. The golden snitch was one tricky motherfucker and one of the only things that could put an end to the match, gifting the team of seeker who caught it a hundred and fifty points more. And Minseon was ready to do that, give her team’s the win. So she observed, flying around the field, proud smile when the Gryffindor chasers scored points, biting her lips when a buldger got a bit to close to a player - whatever the team was, she couldn’t help but be worried. Taking a buldger was a pain for everyone.  
  
And then she saw it. A glimmer of gold shining on the other side of the field. She rushed toward her goal, the almost alive object becoming cleared in her vision. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Yixing make his move. She was so  _close_ \- an arm away to give her team the victory they deserved.  
  
  
  
And then she heard Chanyeol scream. And it wasn’t your usual  _in game_  cry, so she looked up, out of instinct, to see her captain fall from her broom, arms and legs limp. Minseon acted on instinct, stopped chasing the golden snitch to catch Hua, her broom momentarily wincing under the added weight. The headmaster whistled, the game coming to a halt as Minseon slowly landed. She hadn’t seen the action and couldn’t even concentrate on it. All she knew was that Hua was unconscious in her arms, feeling like death, and that she had never felt so terrified.  
  
  
☼  
  
  
Yixing had caught the golden snitch just before the break called by the headmaster - which eventually turned out to be the end of the match. But no one really cared, in the Gryffindor team, all too busy either comforting Chanyeol -  _I’m so sorry it’s my fault i got the distance wrong i should have stopped it but-_ \- or, strangely enough, hovering around Minseon in an attempt to reassure her.  _I don’t need to be reassured_ , she wanted to say, but she knew she did. It had been an hour now that Hua had been sent in the hospital wing, and she was convinced it wasn’t anything too serious - at most, a concussion maybe? - but a lingering doubt reminded her of all those terrible hospital shows she would watch with her sister in summer. She groaned, covering her face with her hands, elbows planted on her knees. “Why am I even so concerned, I’m supposed to hate her,” she mumbled.  
  
  
“Maybe because you can’t just erase the past months of friendship and also your affe-” she kicked Kris in the calf. “I mean, am I wrong ?”  
  
_No, you’re spot on,_  Minseon thought, but Kris didn’t need to know that. The door of the hospital wing opened, letting Miss Park through.  
  
  
“She’s awake, but she disoriented. One at a time, don’t talk too loudly. I know how you Quidditch players are,” she added, disdain apparent in both her voice and the look she threw them.  
  
Minseon felt hands on her shoulders, jumping at the sensation. “You should go first, you caught her after all,” Hoseok declared, pushing her through the door without leaving her a chance to decline, before closing the door behind her, the last thing she heard being his bright voice wishing her good luck.  _Shady bastard_.  
  
  
And then  _they_  were alone. Hua sat in a bed in the middle of the ward, Minseon fidgeting in her stand. She eventually sat down at Hua’s side, the both of them quietly trying to avoid each other’s eyes. It was crazy the amount of details you could notice when you were focused on  _not focusing_  on something else. The amount of burn stains on one particular bed - a repeated offense against the furniture, probably, it looked like magic couldn’t clean it up anymore. What kind of magic fire did some student get up to, she wondered? Or the amount of little dents on the stone floor the cleaning staff had probably missed, sharing a resemblance with claw marks, or that one window that seemed to have been enchanted and had turned into some sort of screen leading to another,  _happier_  place. Minseon eventually broke the silence, not being able to afford it any longer.  
  
  
“How are you feeling?” They both winced - Minseon for how stupid the question was, Hua for how she had just gotten reminded of the dull pain in her skull. Magic could do miracles but Head Nurse Park tended not to make all the pain go away -  _to toughen them up,_  she’d answer when asked.  
  
  
“Blurry. I don’t really remember what happened. Did I take a bludger?”  
  
Minseon nodded. “Chanyeol cried when you fell, you know? Don’t be too harsh on him.”  
  
Hua hummed slowly. “I won’t, I know he did his best,” and a smile bloomed on her face. Chanyeol was always doing his best. Always giving his all and never backing down. “Did- Did someone catch me?”  
  
The brunette stiffened, crossing her arms in front of her. “Why?”  
  
“Because only my head’s in pain. It’s Park. She wouldn’t have helped with the pain. But my body feels fine.” Minseon let her eyes drift away, focusing on a point further ahead, cracking her knuckles.  
  
  
“I did,” she finally answered, quietly. “And by the way, sorry, we didn’t win, I was so close- but then you were falling and i  _had_  to catch you, you know. Yixing was focused on the snitch and caught it- yeah. Sorry. We lost.”  
  
Fingers brushed against her hand, just a fleeting touch - Hua retracted her hand as quickly has she had reached out, scared to be out of place. “It’s okay,” she replied, soft voice the only sound in the Hospital wing. “Thank you”.  
  
  
Minseon nodded. “I’ll- I’ll just leave. The others want to talk to you too.” There was a pinched smile, not exactly sincere but still enough to mean  _I’m glad you’re okay._  “Be sure to tell Chanyeol it’s okay.”  
  
She stood up, legs weak, feeling like they’d give out any moments, but she did not have time to walk away, Hua’s hand catching her by surprise. She turned around to face the girl in the hospital bed, not knowing what to do about the fingers enlaced in her own.  
  
  
  
“Minseon,” she started after a minute of silence, where she had been searching for her words. “Can we- can we try again?”  
  
Something squeezed in her chest, a mix of hope and fear. “We’ll talk about it when you’ll be completely healed.”  
  
  
And she walked away. Again. Running away from her feelings.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Minseon tried not to be over conscious of the warm body pressed against her on the couch, Hua’s thigh touching her own, her attention on Amber who was rambling about a game they both had played. She could feel Hua’s hand, originally on her own leg, slowly reaching for her knee, fingers tickling pale skin. She tried not to mind it, although she regretted having decided to wear shorts. Hua was naturally touchy, she’d come to learn since those fateful christmas holidays, all those months ago. Minseon could indulge her even if she was still  _supposed_ to be mad at the other girl.  
  
Truth be told, she wasn’t. She hadn’t even been really angry from the beginning, just sad and upset that her mind couldn’t grasp what Hua was doing with her. Disappointed that nothing had happened. Disappointed that Hua was fleeing, ignoring her, flight rather than fight. There was nothing to be angry for. It was only a violent disenchantment Minseon had to face. A  _heartbreak_ , she reminded herself.  
  
But Hua’s fingers didn’t stop at her knee and she shivered when they started to shift up, sliding against her inner thigh, not far enough that it could be considered intimate, but still more intimate than she was used to with Hua. Minseon didn’t look at her. For reasons she knew very well now, she wanted to ignore it, act as if it didn’t affect her. Like she didn’t feel anything for the other girl anymore. And she knew very well it was wrong, that everyone could tell it was wrong, anybody could see her affection toward Hua was more than friendly -  _hell_  even Hoseok knew by the way he had thrown her first into the hospital wing the other day, and Hoseok was known to be dense. She wanted to grab that hand and remove it, peel it away from her skin, run away and never see Hua again, because it felt like only disappointment and pain would greet her.  
  
  
“Minseon?”  
  
Baekhyun sat on the armrest she had been leaning on, forcing her to shuffle around a bit. Hua’s hand shied away. From the corner of her eyes, Minseon saw that hand playing with a lock of hair, occupying herself with something. She crossed her legs, warmth gone.  
  
“Yeah?” She smiled, an easy act obviously fake enough to make Baekhyun frown. He knew the drill by now. He glanced at Hua, then back at her.  
  
He was whispering, fingers delicately laced around Minseon’s wrists. “Everything alright? You wanna come hang out with us for a bit?”  
  
Behind him she noticed Chanyeol and Kris, the latter unnaturally red and the younger apparently laughing. She didn’t even glance at Hua. She was suffocating here. She didn’t even know why she was sitting here.  
  
_They were supposed to talk_ , her mind supplied her.  
  
Baekhyun didn’t wait to hear her say it, he could feel the distress radiating off of her. He dragged her away from the couch, his hand on the small of her back. Kris immediately reached for Minseon when she saw her, two big hands on her shoulders pulling her in front of the taller girl, using her as a shield from Chanyeol.  
  
“Minseon  _please_  tell him there is nothing between Junhee and i...” So this was why she was so red.  
  
Minseon relaxed, her whole body releasing a tension she had not noticed had been killing her. She raised her eyebrows to her taller friend, a playful smile on before leaning in toward Chanyeol, a hand covering her mouth to deliver a secret. Kris thought Minseon was on her side - and she would, if the taller girl wasn’t as embarrassed and in need of help, but she was  _wrong_.  
  
“They’ve been having those cute library meet ups where they just end up making out. It’s adorable. I’m pretty sure they’re dating but don’t know how to tell the world.”  
  
“What!” Chanyeol slapped Kris’s arm. “And you didn’t tell me! I’m offended! I want all the fucking deets. Now. There is no escape.”  
  
Minseok giggled, Kris turning even redder. Baekhyun grabbed her arm again, getting her attention.  
  
“You’re sure everything’s fine?”  
  
  
When she first met Byun Baekhyun, Minseon would never have thought she would ever get to hear him so quiet and cautious. Baekhyun was a loudmouth, clumsy and fun, a popular guy, but he was also so much more and loved his friends so, so much, she had learned. He seemed so antsy, concerned for the older girl. They had grown so close this year, she was pretty sure she would have been a mess without him to support her. This silent Baekhyun, careful with his words was a proof that he knew her more than she thought he did.  _Again_. He was an important support in her life now, a role Jongdae used to have before. Baekhyun couldn't replace him. He had just carved himself a place in her heart. She trusted him so much.  
  
"It's not. Not exactly." She winced. She had not meant to make him more worried. "We just haven't talked about my- mh, outburst. Yet.”  
  
"I see." He sneaked a glance toward Hua - and Minseon followed too, obviously. She wasn't talking anymore, just staring at the bottom of her empty glass. Amber was still with her, and Hoseok had joined them, Jinki mumbling something about how it was  _Hua’s welcome back party but she seemed down_ , tried to make her talk. Minseon wanted to ignore how lost Hua's gaze seemed before turning her head again. "Yeah. Doesn't seem like the right moment. She just came back."  
  
"Yeah. " She huffed, bringing her glass to her lips. "She's lucky enough i'm even at her welcome back party."  
  
Baekhyun snorted, putting a smile on Minseon's face.  
  
"Anyway. You seem to hang out a lot with that Kyungsoo guy, recently. What is it with my friends and Ravenclaws ? Are you  _courting_  him ?”  
  
His face suddenly flared up, a mumble of  _wait no you can't just change the subject like that._  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
It's toward the end of the evening that Minseon felt a hand catching hers. The voices of the party weren't more than a gentle lull and she could feel the fatigue seeping in, soothed by Kris's deep voice who was once again telling Chanyeol about how she wasn't dating Junhee. ("Yet" he kept saying, and Kris couldn’t even hide the flush of her cheeks anymore). Baekhyun was half asleep on Chanyeol, sitting on the floor, leaning on his legs, and Minseon was the only one standing, lost in her thoughts. She jumped when she felt it, fingers in her palm, turning quietly to see Hua biting her bottom lip.  
  
"What?" Minseon tried to keep her voice down, knowing both Chanyeol and Kris were watching the interaction, judging from how she couldn’t hear both of their deep voices anymore.  
  
"Can I," Hua looked away for a second. "Can I talk to you?"  
  
"Sure", she answered, as if she wasn't anxious as hell. Tension left Hua's shoulders, and she dragged her away, toward the girl's dormitory. The brunette heard Chanyeol whistling and giggling, but didn't pay him more attention. Hua walked all the way until they reached Minseon's dorm room. She did not have any roommate, since she got in after the start of the school year, and they were sure to be left alone there. She released Minseon's hand, and with hesitant steps, she turned around, facing her.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Minseon frowned. Hua's voice had been so quiet, shaky, a breath more than real words. "What?"  
  
Hua took a deep breath and stared into Minseon's eyes. Minseon could see there was a storm of things just waiting to be released, and so she did. Planted her feet on the ground, stopping her legs from shaking. Released the tension making her play with her fingers and her knees shake. Calmed her voice.  
  
"I'm sorry. I've been a real fucking asshole." She paused. "Ehm, get ready, this is about to get really mushy."  
  
Minseon couldn't help but snort, a hint of a smile on her lips. "Go on."  
  
Hua cleared her throat. "I'm, I'm sorry i made you feel like i've been playing with you. Like you weren't more than a toy. Because you aren't. You're- you're so much more than that. And I'm sorry I led you on. Made you feel like i did. I just," she sighed, "I started the year hating you, you know?"  
  
Minseon rolled her eyes, but a tenderness softened her jaw.  
  
"But," Hua lowered her voice, so low that she had to take a step forward for Minseon to hear her. "You're so kind and soft and funny and supportive and just, _great._  And I just. I didn't know what to do. How to react. Because when you smile at me, I feel so desperately  _warm._ "  
  
Minseon stopped breathing.  
  
"When you talk to me, you're the only thing i want to listen to for the rest of my life. When you look at me, I can't help but look back and get lost in your eyes and, I just, sometimes i can't remember how to breathe because I never felt that way about a girl. About anyone. And I didn't know what to do because, I mean, you told me you liked girls, but, why would you ever like me, right? i'm so? I'm so annoying with you and I-"  
  
She didn't get to finish her sentence, silenced by a pair of lips on hers. Minseon was kissing her, surrendering to what felt like  _years_  of emotions she didn’t know to set free.  
  
Hua flinched at first, not expecting it, but then Minseok sneaked a hand in her hair, soothing her,  _it’s okay, we’re fine_ , and both finally caught on all the feelings and untold things between them. Neither of them had much experience in the kissing department, but the soft press of lips against lips was good enough, their whole body tingling with so many new sensations, Minseon’s heart feeling oh so light again.  
  
They slowly stopped, warm lips mere millimeters apart, flushed and breathless. Hua’s left hand cupping Minseon’s cheek, and the other on her waist, a fleeting memory bringing them to the quidditch field at night, noises from nature and stars looking down at them. Memories of what could have been and what was  _now_.  
  
“You’re so dumb,” a whisper, neither of them really knowing who said it because  _wow_ , they both got hurt for mutual feelings they could only see as one sided.  
  
Hua leaned in again, with more force, enough to pin Minseon against the door they had closed when they got in the room. She heard her whimper in surprise when it touched her back, whispered a  _is this okay?_  before Minseon nodded, taking her lips with hers again. It felt so unreal to have Hua on her, moving a knee between her legs, immobilizing her and taking, taking,  _taking,_  a kiss or her breath away, her sanity, her awareness of space and time. It was only the two of them, happy and finally content with what the had.  
  
  
  
Later they laid on Minseon’s bed, apologies and explanation whispered, hands brushing against hands, legs tangled, cuddled against each other. Minseon started feeling sleepy again, relaxed by the gentle come and go of Hua’s hand on her thigh, sometimes playing with the hem of her shorts, sometimes tracing stretch marks on her thighs with the tip of her fingers. And in the content silence of the room, Hua took Minseon’s hand, a smile spreading on both their lips as she laced their fingers together.  
  
“So… are we,” she paused, letting Minseon’s eyes open a little bit, “Are we girlfriends now?”  
  
  
“Girlfriends,” the other girl nodded, shifting a little bit closer to peck Hua on the forehead, “I like that.”  
  
  
“Girlfriends.”  
  
  
  
☼  
  
  
  
Fingers linked under the table was as far as Minseon agreed to go the next morning, not exactly knowing where they stood, how to make this relationship work. Sure, they’d made up, but they were still both hurt over things that had been said. She just wanted to take it slow. Hua agreed on the condition that she would get to kiss her whenever she wanted if no one was watching. The older girl agreed, rolling her eyes, but she couldn’t help the giggle escaping her throat. After all she was very into this kissing thing too. Just not with an audience.  
  
  
Minseon bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to be too obvious about her happiness at the breakfast table, choosing to instead focus on Chanyeol and Hua's argument. She did not get the chance to get too involved in it as Hua - her girlfriend!!! - suddenly gasped, got up, showed their linked hands to the world, claiming having forgotten something at the dorms before leaning down to kiss Minseon's forehead and quickly left.  
  
  
It took 10 second for Minseon to process and blush accordingly.  
  
  
Chanyeol had his mouth wide open, staring at the older girl, Baekhyun was groaning and Junhee's - who took her breakfast at a different house’s table everyday, that girl had too many friends - mouth broke into a scary smirk Minseon would have never thought possible on the sweet girl's face.  
  
"Did. Did that really happen?”  
  
Minseon was tempted to reach over and push Chanyeol’s jaw back up, closing his mouth shut, but she didn't. On his left Baekhyun had reached for money in his pocket, handing it to Junhee.  
  
"How the fuck did you know?” he scowled.  
  
Junhee counted the money - something around twenty bucks?? did they really bet that much? before putting it in her own robes.  
  
"Baekhyun, i've been friend with Hua for six years. I know how much she likes girls. And that now she never talked my ear off about any girls as much as she did with Minseon. It was bound to happen." Baekhyun scoffed, mentally lamenting his lost money.  
  
  
Minseon couldn't help but blush harder, not knowing how to react - both the fact that their friends knew that they might ended up becoming a couple and weren’t surprised - except Chanyeol, but he was as dense as Hoseok - and to the fact that Hua had been talking to Junhee about her,  _talking her ears off_.  
  
  
She settled on covering her flushed face with her hands, groaning and setting it down on the table, ignoring Chanyeol’s interrogations and Kris sitting beside her, asking what was going on, and the enthusiastic and completely exaggerated report of the earlier events, by Baekhyun.  
  
  
  
Later that day, Hua apologized - half heartedly - and leaned down again and pressed their warm lips together for a kiss. Minseon secretly thought that she, in the end, didn’t mind at all, and would pick her girlfriend’s need of public display of affection over their previously rocky relationship any day.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus : some art !!  
> [x](https://twitter.com/hy_ddy/status/865388060183334913) [x](https://twitter.com/hy_ddy/status/910746926865420288)  
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/hy_ddy)


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